Saturday, 16 February 2008 / 8:08 pm
morning went badminton, (:
uncle mok talked for about 2 hours.
like urm some sort of reflection.
well it seemed unfair for me, somehow.
i voiced out what ive got to say & yet he had to somehow contradict me.
actually, to be frank.. i dont hate him
but this incident really make me wanr @#%!@%$ him.
so lets see, he said that i wasnt serious,
i wasnt confident,dont have the commitment.
i didnt run, i get killed by the 1st shot,
&i argued with him.
d'you know that it was hilarious when he said i argued with him
i wasnt really paying attention i was thinking about something else,
so i asked ppl what he talking, & he said i was arguing with him that way?
i just dont get his definition of argue.
maybe im mentally disturbing him what-so-ever.
ok he had to pick on me, it made me feel so bad.
why cant he just be straight forward & say 'youve got nothing good about you that i can talk about'
actually i wanr stand up for myself,
heres partly of what ive got to say..
im SUPER serious, if you were to compare me with jingni,&lihui..you would find me serious & wanr beat them badly...i think you cant see it ba, maybe i dont show that im serious but deep down inside i am. im not confident? im superrrrr confident. before the match ive always told myself to do my best & have fun like what you all had said. &duh the 1st few matches i would be obviously nervous, why pick on me here when other ppl are all the same? okok, this is one of the part im pretty fed up with, he said megan had soooo much commitment. but hello, i was the one that was beside her, cant you see,are you biaus? im like soooo into badminton. i love it like hell i listened closely to what youve got to say im not lke jingni or lihui, when you train them they dont give a f*** to you, they dont even look at you & your strokes, im a different case. i stare intensely i listen to what youve got to say. i trainned hard. i dno whats your expectations from me. ive come for almost every trainning, i only didnt come when i had to go temple or something
even though i was sick i still came. during the holidays, my mother prevented me from going, but because for the love of badminton, i begged her. acutally i couldve made the choice for not going. ive got so much more to elabo on this point, but i dont wanr make it so long. ok, i didnt run? maybe you were there to only see me play against raffles & mayflower only. at that point of time i do admit i didnt run, my legs were like jelly & it was pretty stiff. but if only you were there to see me play against cresent, st marg &queenstown. im mainly proud of my match against cresent i ran a lot, &i used most of your skills you taught me, the highest i could attained was 21-14. i didnt expect myself to get more then 10 but i did . i persevere. i didnt give up did i? from 7 i climbed up to 14. 7 you werent there to see. so how you know what had happen? okok, now the arguing part, I SERIOUSLY dont get what you mean. im just an ordinary blur person that sometimes dont get what ppl say, so i ask them, & you say im arguing. ireally dont get it jingni & lihui is there for you to say but all you can say about them is playful? they have all the things that you can describe them on top. but why me? this is the part where i really got hurt the most.
is it because i didnt even win a single match? if it is then you can just say straight to my face, you dont have to beat around the bush. thats the part where i cried. thats the point of time where i felt hurt . im feelin the pain once again. & to top the pain, ive got some personal problems. &its pretty unfair . i think u.m., i think you dont like me. i can feel that you detest me. i can sense your hatred somehow. i cant really say youre biaus. but i know we lost the tournament & youre sad because of the time,money,&sweat youve put in. but not only you, ive suffered also.i just hope you'll understand.
sorry yinkee wendy, maybe ill post tmr about our prob.
i would like to stand up to all girls, if theres a point of time when she
suddenly cannot perform well, maybe shes having her thing that comes every once
a month.
